In Pirates: Golden Tits, you’re in control of a young captain who has just acquired his first ship. You’re traveling the world doing what pirates do best, which is rob, steal, and pillage everything in sight. You hire bluejackets to do your dirty work, but you’re only allowed to hire girls for some reason. It makes sense in the long run because you’re out at sea, and all you want is some female companionship. You’re a horny young pirate who can’t take his eyes off of these girls, and they very well could get in your way of robbing people blind if you allow them to.